Detour, Detour … Getting Out of Our Own Way

Okay, we’re all set.  We have gotten clear on what we want, created a vision or personal manifesto, mapped a clear strategy, and educated others about what we’re up to and asked for their support.  (See prior posts.)  We are in action.

Merrily, we are on our way.  Some things are going very well.  Yes!  Some things might be a bit more challenging.  What’s happening with these?  Sometimes, we get in our own way.  We have educated others about what is okay and not okay and what support we would like from them.  Have we asked that about ourselves?  Are we Living BIG with ourselves?

What might be getting in our way?  … and what can we do about it?

  1. We might be tolerating a lot of things that are taking our time and energy.  List what is taking time and energy.  Make changes to minimize these or see them in a different way.
  2. We may not be doing this for ourselves and are trying to please others. Check your motivation and ensure it is coming from your core values.
  3. Perfectionism – all or nothing – if I don’t do this perfectly, I don’t do it at all. Progress is the goal.  There will be blips in that progress.  Blips do not mean failure.  They provide points of reflection and curiousity.  What’s happening to create the blip?  How can you learn from that or how does it inform you to modify your course of action?  Reminder:  There is no ‘perfect’ .
  4. We may have set too high a goal or are trying to change too many things at one time. Ensure you are taking a one step at a time approach, that you have the space and time required to take that one, that progress is the goal, that you are being realistic.
  5. We may have strong beliefs about our ability to change, about our competence to change, about what is or is not possible for us, about the impact on others. These beliefs drive our behaviour.  Examine your beliefs around the changes you are currently trying to make.  Reflect on these with trusted others, those who have your best interests at heart and support you.
  6. Our strong inner voice may not want change. We are our own worst enemy at times.  Those inner voices are also known as ‘Gremlins’.  Check out the 5R Gremlin Taming Process by Rick Carson.  Click here to email me and request a copy of the 5R Gremlin Taming Process.  It is also, in Rising Strong, referred to as ‘the story I am telling myself’.  Click here to email me and request a copy of the SFD exercise.
  7. Lack of planning for required resources – eg. finances, time, space. These can be addressed.

These are just some of ways we get in our own way.  How do you get in your own way?

With compassion,


PS  Coaching supports people to explore these hurdles to help them move forward to what they truly want for their lives.