24 Jun The Quiet Strength of Leadership Unlearning
Unlearning is not failure; it’s a conscious, courageous choice to evolve.
As McKinsey & Company notes in their research on Leading with Inner Agility, today’s leaders must embrace vulnerability, shed rigid thinking, and lead with greater openness and adaptability.
Rigid adherence to past ways can quietly become a barrier to future leadership success.
Similarly, Shirzad Chamine’s Positive Intelligence framework reinforces that leaders must release their Saboteur-driven behaviors, like the Judge or Controller, to unlock greater mental fitness and effective leadership. Letting go of self-criticism and perfectionism allows space for leaders to show up with more presence and emotional resilience.
Unlearning asks for presence, self-awareness, and a certain grace with ourselves.
It’s not about becoming less.
It’s about becoming more true – more capable of leading in complexity and uncertainty.
5 Things High-Performing Leaders Are Unlearning Now
Through coaching conversations, leadership research, and lived experience, several patterns emerge. These aren’t formulas – they’re observations of how high-performing leaders are intentionally evolving.
➔ Letting go of the need to have all the answers.
Leaders are realizing that expertise alone is no longer enough.
Curiosity, humility, and the ability to hold space for collaboration have become stronger leadership currencies.
(Supported by CCL research showing that leaders who fail to engage and empower others are more likely to derail.)
➔ Letting go of over-reliance on control.
The urge to micromanage – once seen as diligence – is giving way to a trust in people, systems, and emergent solutions.
Leaders recognize that control without empowerment stifles innovation and engagement.
➔ Letting go of self-judgment as a primary driver.
Many leaders have been fueled by high internal standards, even harsh self-criticism.
Today’s evolving leaders are learning that sustainable resilience grows from self-compassion – not relentless inner pressure.
(Also connected to emerging research on positive intelligence and leadership resilience.)
➔ Letting go of speed as a badge of leadership.
In a world obsessed with pace, intentionality is becoming a distinguishing trait.
Moving fast isn’t always moving wisely. Leaders who can pause, reflect, and respond – rather than react – are shaping the future.
➔ Letting go of attachment to familiar success patterns.
As Marshall Goldsmith famously captured: “What got you here won’t get you there.”
Past formulas for success can become traps when they’re applied rigidly to new, complex challenges. High-performing leaders are embracing learning, experimentation, and discomfort as part of their ongoing evolution.
These shifts don’t happen instantly. They unfold through moments of self-reflection, realignment, and the willingness to step into the unknown – again and again.
Reflective Questions for Your Unlearning Journey
If you’re feeling a quiet invitation to evolve, here are a few questions you might sit with:
- What patterns or assumptions once served me that may now be holding me back?
- Where am I leading from habit rather than conscious choice?
- What could open up – for myself, for my team, for the broader system – if I gave myself permission to let go?
Even noticing the questions is an act of leadership.
Unlearning as a Path to Leadership Evolution
Leadership evolution isn’t just about adding more.
It’s about becoming more attuned – more alive to what is truly needed now.
Unlearning is a courageous move.
It’s not about losing ground, but about creating space for the leadership the future demands.
When we release what no longer serves – with wisdom, presence, and compassion – we step more fully into who we are capable of becoming.
And we create the conditions for others to do the same.
In a world that often rewards accumulation, there is quiet strength – and visionary leadership – in choosing to lead through letting go.
Ready to Unlearn What’s Holding You Back?
The unlearning process isn’t about undoing who you are – it’s about letting go of what no longer serves the leader you’re becoming.
If this article stirred something in you, take a moment to sit with the questions shared above. Let them guide your next step – whether that’s releasing an old habit, choosing a new way of showing up, or simply noticing where growth is quietly asking for your attention.
And if you’re ready to explore this further, I’d love to have a conversation. Whether through one-on-one coaching, Executive EDGE, or a tailored strategy session, we’ll create space for you to grow with clarity, confidence, and purpose.
Reach out for a complimentary call – let’s talk about where you are, and where you’re ready to lead from next.
References (APA 7th Edition)
Baumeister, R. F., & Vohs, K. D. (2007). Decision fatigue: Exhausting self-regulatory resources through choosing. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 94(4), 883–898. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.94.4.883
Goldsmith, M. (2007). What got you here won’t get you there: How successful people become even more successful. New York, NY: Hyperion.
Ibarra, H. (2015). Act like a leader, think like a leader. Boston, MA: Harvard Business Review Press.
McKinsey & Company. (2019). Leading with inner agility. Retrieved from https://www.mckinsey.com/capabilities/people-and-organizational-performance/our-insights/leading-with-inner-agility
Chamine, S. (2012). Positive intelligence: Why only 20% of people achieve their true potential and how you can achieve yours. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Center for Creative Leadership. (2016). The derailment of executives: What can be done? Greensboro, NC: CCL Press. Retrieved from https://cclinnovation.org/research/the-derailment-of-executives