Supporting yourself on this new path …
We’ve talked about how to educate and request the support of others. How about supporting ourselves? How does this come into play?
There are several things to consider:
- Self trust
- Self compassion
At the end of the day, we can truly be very hard on ourselves. Last week, we looked at some of the hurdles that we put in our own way. This week, we look at how to stay positive on a new path and to flex and bend as the path changes with new awareness and circumstances.
Firstly, do you trust yourself? Do you trust that the path you are on is the right one for you? Do you question it? Do you start doubting yourself? Trusting yourself is staying in integrity with what you know to be true to you. When you do that, you feel aligned and on the right path.
Secondly, there is self compassion. According to Kristin Neff’s research, there are 3 components to self compassion:
- Self kindness – treating ourselves like we would a close friend;
- Common humanity – knowing that we are not in this alone. Others are going through the same or similar experiences.
- Mindfulness – allowing ourselves to feel what we are feeling and moving through that.
Thirdly, there is gratitude – being grateful for where we are at right here, right now. Focusing on what is going well, takes us a lot further forward than focusing on the negative that drags us into the past and into a state where we do not feel like moving forward.
Take a moment to consider:
- Do you trust yourself? Do you act in alignment with your values? What actions can you take to increase that alignment?
- How do you treat yourself when things are not going well?
- Do you treat yourself with the kindness you would a close friend?
- Do you know you are not alone? If not, reach out to a trusted person and voice what you are feeling. Shame cannot survive in the light.
- Do you feel a weightiness that takes you to numbing behaviours such as eating, drinking, excessive television or other avoidance behaviour? Do you acknowledge your emotions and allow yourself to process them?
- Are you taking stock of what you are grateful for? For your unique you? For your strengths? For what you have? For where you are at right now, in this moment? Write down all of the things you are grateful for – even the sparkly glistening air on a cold winter’s day, your health, the people in your life, the ability to contribute what you do, etc. Try out the ‘3 Good Things’ exercise.
These are 3 key ways of supporting yourself on the journey of life.
Be aware, savour, and enjoy!