Living BIG – Boundaries Integrity Generousity … * concept from Brene Brown

Last week we explored strategy … taking our Big Why and our vision or personal manifesto, and planning and getting into sustainable action to bring our purpose and values alive.

Sometimes, when we make changes in our lives, it has a ripple affect on those around us whether it be a difference in how we are being with others, less time with family, friends, community, or work, and/or potentially requiring something from others.

In order to minimize the impact on others, it is important to be transparent with them and tell them, ahead of time, the changes that we intend to make, how these changes may or may not impact them, and have a conversation about how that can work for both. This helps others to know ahead of time what is coming up so that they may adapt, support, jump on board, partner, or voice any concerns.

Some may have a difficult time with this. They might not be ready, willing, or able to adapt which will require you to set boundaries. Setting boundaries is simply letting others respectfully know what is okay and what is not okay and also provide space for them to tell us what is okay and not okay for them. This is a two way street.

This requires us to Live BIG (the following from Rising Strong by Brené Brown):

“Living BIG is saying: Yes, I’m going to be generous in my assumptions and intentions while standing solidly in my integrity and being very clear about what’s acceptable and what’s not acceptable.

When we combine the courage to make clear what works for us and what doesn’t, with the compassion to assume people are doing their best, our lives change.

Yes, there will be people who violate our boundaries, and this will require that we continue to hold those people accountable. But we’re living in our integrity, we’re strengthened by the self-respect that comes from the honouring of our boundaries, rather than being flattened by disappointment and resentment.”

Some questions to help you process this:

  1. What needs to be communicated about the changes you are making or planning to make?
  2. What is okay and not okay for you around the changes you are making to create and live your vision or personal manifesto?
  3. How will you share this with the best of intentions, knowing that you cannot control somebody else’s response, and how will you be generous with your assumptions about their responses?

Succinctly:  “What boundaries do I need to put in place so I can work from a place of integrity and extend the most generous interpretations of the intentions, words, and actions of others?” – Rising Strong