22 Jul Leading Through Discomfort: How to Lead with Integrity When You’re Not Aligned
In leadership, we’re often called to stand behind initiatives we didn’t initiate – and sometimes don’t fully understand or agree with.
You may feel misaligned. You may not yet understand the reasoning. You may even quietly disagree with the direction. And yet, you’re expected to lead others through it.
This is where leadership is tested — and where your influence, presence, and integrity matter most.
Why Misalignment is a Leadership Moment
Change often shows up in ways we didn’t anticipate – from shifts in strategy, restructuring, technology rollouts, or new cultural commitments.
Some changes are prompted by external pressures: market trends, regulatory shifts, global mandates. Others come from within, driven by new leadership or emerging priorities.
In these moments, you may feel:
- Unsettled, because the change is still unclear or evolving
- Disappointed, because your input wasn’t reflected in the final decision
- Concerned, because you see risks that haven’t been addressed
- Conflicted, because it challenges long-held beliefs or values
- Overridden, because the change moved ahead despite your thoughtful pushback
These are real and valid responses. But they don’t have to define your leadership.
What Your Team Needs Most in Uncertain Times
In uncertain times, your team is not looking for perfection – they’re looking for presence.
What they’ll remember isn’t whether you had all the answers.
It’s whether you stayed engaged, honest, and steady.
Leadership in these moments isn’t about pretending to agree. It’s about holding the discomfort thoughtfully — and continuing to lead with care, clarity, and courage.
5 Leadership Practices for Leading Through Discomfort
1. Acknowledge Your Discomfort – Privately First
Start with honest self-reflection. What values are being challenged? Where’s the tension coming from? What’s under the resistance – fear, concern, fatigue, or something else?
This clarity matters. You can’t lead others through what you haven’t acknowledged yourself.
2. Separate Belief from Behaviour
You don’t have to agree with every detail to show up with professionalism and presence. But how you communicate matters.
Try:
“I know this is a significant shift. It’s new territory for many of us, including me – and I’m here to help us move through it together with clarity and care.”
This signals calm, grounded leadership. You’re being honest without creating doubt. You’re offering steadiness, not second-guessing.
It shows your team that while you may be navigating change too, you’re fully present and capable of guiding them through it.
3. Stay in Inquiry Mode
Disagreement is often rooted in incomplete understanding. Ask:
- What is this change trying to solve?
- What does success look like?
- What do I need to understand better before deciding how I feel?
Sometimes clarity creates alignment. Sometimes it simply makes space for influence.
4. Be a Translator, Not Just a Messenger
Your role isn’t to echo talking points. It’s to translate what the change means for your team – in their context, their work, their concerns.
This is where your leadership makes the difference between compliance and commitment.
5. Watch What You Signal
Even if you say nothing, your body language, tone, and availability speak volumes.
Disengagement is contagious – but so is steadiness.
Modeling curiosity and groundedness, even in uncertainty, gives your team permission to stay engaged too.
Aligning with Integrity When the Decision Isn’t Yours
When a change is set in motion – even one you didn’t choose or support – your power lies in how you respond.
Sometimes, the expectations are clear: this is the direction, this is what’s required. In those moments, the deeper question becomes:
Can I accept this? Can I lead forward with integrity – even if I wouldn’t have made this choice myself?
If yes, that acceptance becomes an act of leadership. It allows you to move from resistance to influence, from frustration to contribution.
It’s not passive. It’s purposeful.
But if the change is too far out of alignment with your values, ethics, or professional standards – it’s equally valid to acknowledge that.
That clarity may lead to tough but principled decisions: stepping back, renegotiating your role, or even exiting.
Either way, staying in a place of quiet resistance – unwilling to accept, yet unwilling to act – drains you and those around you.
Real leadership asks for alignment of some kind: with purpose, with people, or with yourself.
Explore What Leadership Looks Like - Even in Discomfort
If you’re navigating a change that feels misaligned – or you’re supporting others through one – you’re not alone. These moments can be challenging, but they also hold opportunity for clarity, growth, and leadership.
If this resonated with you, I’d welcome a conversation.
Let’s talk about what leadership can look like, even when the path forward isn’t fully clear.