Defining what you really want

Last week’s blog was ‘Are you tired of grasping for what you really want?’. In that blog, there were many questions to consider taking a one step at a time approach. Step one is defining what you really want.

Most of us have a general idea of what we think we want. Sometimes that idea is very vague and broad. Additionally, what we think we want is often externally motivated. We tend to emulate others or compare ourselves to others instead of getting clear on what is uniquely import to us. When we do this, we do not necessarily honour what is truly important and meaningful to ourselves, our values. When we instead get clear on what is important to us and honour our own internal values, then we feel fulfilled.

Values are unique to each of us. Values, here, are defined by Coach Inc. as:

“Values are things you do or that you find very attractive. When engaged in these activities, you feel most like yourself: well, connected, excited, glowing, and effortless. We like these things, but most of us lead lives, which do not grant us the chance to JUST do these things. We may be too busy with “responsibilities”, unresolved matters, chasing unmet needs, just getting by, etc. In order to honor your Tru Values, you will have to substantially alter and enhance your life to get the room you need to engage in this ideal life.

Many of us spend our lives trying (consciously or not) to honor these Tru Values. We find ourselves getting disturbed or frustrated, bored or complacent, wishing and hoping to have a better life – this better life is, among other things, based on your Tru Values.”

When you read this definition, what values come to mind for you? Some examples: beauty, connection, family, justice, peace. For a fuller list of values with additional examples of values, contact me by clicking here, requesting ‘Values List’, and I will send a list to you.

Once you narrow down your top 4-5 values, evaluate how much each value is represented in your life using a scale of 1-10 (10 being fully represented). Then, for each value, list at least one thing that you can do to move its representation in your life higher up the scale. Then, from that list, decide what is realistic right now and take one step at time with those in the direction of fulfilling at your values.

Coming next week: ‘Create you personal manifesto’