Are you tired of grasping for what you really want?
Every day is a chance to make a new choice, to move in the direction of where you want to be, to break free of what has been holding you back, to get into action. Sometimes, instead, we grasp for what we want and do not, for various reasons, move in the direction we need to go to get there.
Many times, people will tell me that they want something different for themselves – less stress, less overwhelm, more motivation, certain skills (communication, influence, leadership), more support, more freedom, to be of purpose, to contribute more, to leave a positive legacy, and so forth. It is not always easy getting what we think we want. It requires many things of us – things we may not have considered. It takes deliberate, concerted, and integrated mental, emotional, and physical effort to get there … and it is possible!
It most often requires internal motivation and clarity about what that is – our big ‘Why’, as Simon Sinek puts it. It takes a belief in ourselves that we can do it. It may require tangible resources or learning. It may require us to pull up something deep from within ourselves. It requires us to examine our beliefs. It requires us to be somewhat outside of our comfort zones and to be vulnerable. It takes a willingness to try, fall down, process, get up again, go again – as in ‘Rising Strong’ by Brené Brown. Support and self compassion are important. It also helps to evaluate and be grateful for what we have and who we are right here, right now. These and additional elements come into play.
Some things to consider about whatever it is you are grasping for:
1. What is it specifically that you want?
2. What is important to you about whatever that is?
3. What is your perceived outcome of having this? What would be different if you had what you were grasping for?
4. What have you done to try to get there?
5. Do you find that what you want gets put on the back burner?
6. Do you wonder if it is really achievable for you?
7. Do you use an ‘all or nothing’ approach?
8. What level of awareness do you have about what is required of you to pursue this?
9. Have you an actionable plan to get where you want to be?
10. If so, is your plan realistic?
11. What are you currently ready for?
12. What resources do you have and need?
13. Who and what is your support system?
14. How do you keep going when the going gets difficult?
15. How do you hold yourself accountable?
16. How do you know you are being successful?
17. How do you celebrate the milestones?
18. How do you enjoy the present without having yet come to what you are working towards?
Does this sounds overwhelming? No need for it to be. These questions are intended to increase awareness. From awareness, we have choice. The answers that come from of the above questions will provide clarity and help you to move forward when taken one step at a time. We so often try to take an ‘all or nothing’ approach. Taking one step at a time allows us to experiment, see what works for us or not, refine our course, and move forward again.
What’s your next step?
Next week, stay tuned for “Defining What You Want”.
Jamie Davidoff – Spark Success Coaching Inc.
To learn more about how Coaching can support you in moving towards and achieving what you want, contact Jamie for a 45 minute complimentary phone consultation.